Since I really don't want to come across as the most bitter pregnant woman to ever walk to the earth, I have decided to take this time to write a heartfelt, lovey dovey blog about my pregnancy so far.
In the midst of feeling exhausted and gross, I realized just how lucky I am to have my husband. I've always been lucky to have him (which I don't tell him nearly enough) but he has really stepped up and dealt with a lot from me over the past weeks.
Case in point: The Chicken Incident.
He calls to tell me he's bringing something home for dinner. Oh thank you sweet baby Jesus that I don't have to cook. The options are KFC, Taco Bell or Wendy's. KFC is fine but I wish it was Popeye's. Fast forward 40 minutes. Where the heck is he? In walks the most perfect husband with the most perfect bag of Popeye's goodness. He went wellllllll out of his way just to pick up fried chicken and biscuits from Popeye's since he knows KFC is not my first choice.
He is awesome.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Thursday, June 5, 2008
12 Weeks: No, I Don't Care What You Did
You know me, all ranty and what not.
Let me preface this by saying: If I have ever asked you about or actively engaged you in a discussion about your labor and delivery experience, this blog is not directed at you. And I can promise you, if you are reading this, you most likely fall into the "safe" category.
There are, however, those women who feel the need to "explain" to me just what I will want (demand even) to happen during my labor and delivery.
Before I became pregnant I was unaware of the hierarchy that exists amongst mothers. You have your bottom rung newbies like myself - never been pregnant, all fresh faced and doe eyed about the whole deal. Then there are the first tier veterans that probably only have one child (these are typically the most interesting of the bunch. I'll explain). You have seasoned vets with a few kids under their belt (my most valuable ladies) and then the jaded bitties who probably also have a few deliveries to share war stories about, but they usually have a good 20 to 30 years on the seasoned vets therefore making them simultaneously a know-it-all and grossly-out-of-touch-old-hag.
Let me be clear that I have the utmost respect for all women who have given birth. I'm not delusional enough to think it's all sunshine and rainbows so I'm pretty well aware of how strong these ladies have been throughout their pregnancies and deliveries.
I'm not sure why, but I seem to get the most unsolicited advice about birth from the women who have had one child. They also seem to be the ones that put the most "in-the-box" parameters on what labor and delivery are like and what I must expect. This is odd. You had a c-section at the last minute so I should automatically ask for an epidural. How does this make any sense? Your labor was 75 hours long so I won't want to try a natural birth. What? I understand that there are about a million different situations that can arise throughout the entire process but why in the world would you know what I should want/won't want/can't do during my labor and delivery? It's all said under the heading "I just want to give you all the scenarios - Information is power" type crap, when really it feels like a sermon about how naive I am. Listen, if I tell you that I have a birth plan that includes chanting and incense while a midget massages my temples, who the hell are you to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about? I think it's a given that I don't actually, physically know what will happen or how I will feel at the time but I'll be damned if I let your self righteous ass belittle my PROPOSED plan for labor and delivery. F OFF. I get bitter with these people.
I love moms with 2 or more children. Why? Because they know, for a fact - by their own experience - that every single delivery is different. Knowing this forces them to be much more reasonable with their advice offerings. They know they would sound like pretentious ninnies if they spoke in absolutes like the crazies above. This is the sorta person I can have a serious conversation with, without feeling like I'm being told (in not so many words) that I'm an idiot. My awesome mother is one of these women. Thank you mom.
Oh. My favorite. The Jadded Old Bitties. The funny thing about these women - I'm 120% sure they were the crazy first time moms that thought they knew everything and made sure everyone else was aware of it. Well, now here we have a crazy who knows all there is to know about childbirth.....in 1965. I find it so helpful when a mother who was under general anesthesia when her first 3 children were born, tells me that "labor and delivery aren't hard." Oh really Einstein? Being unconscious will do that. I know "that's just how it was" back then but COME ON. You are in 2008 - you KNOW it's not anymore whether you have recently experienced it or not. You possess no relevance. Just stop talking. My grandmother has somehow managed to understand that times change and that births today are not the same as they were 40 years ago. She offers cool stories about how different things were with each of her own deliveries and how far we've come to get where we are today (even though she hasn't given birth for 30 + years). I know it's possible to step outside your sanctimonious bubble and so I have no time for old ladies who choose not to. You are not applicable to modern times. Go knit something.
P.S. I'm not angry. I'm not fired up. This took me all of 15 minutes to write. Mostly I find it funny.
Let me preface this by saying: If I have ever asked you about or actively engaged you in a discussion about your labor and delivery experience, this blog is not directed at you. And I can promise you, if you are reading this, you most likely fall into the "safe" category.
There are, however, those women who feel the need to "explain" to me just what I will want (demand even) to happen during my labor and delivery.
Before I became pregnant I was unaware of the hierarchy that exists amongst mothers. You have your bottom rung newbies like myself - never been pregnant, all fresh faced and doe eyed about the whole deal. Then there are the first tier veterans that probably only have one child (these are typically the most interesting of the bunch. I'll explain). You have seasoned vets with a few kids under their belt (my most valuable ladies) and then the jaded bitties who probably also have a few deliveries to share war stories about, but they usually have a good 20 to 30 years on the seasoned vets therefore making them simultaneously a know-it-all and grossly-out-of-touch-old-hag.
Let me be clear that I have the utmost respect for all women who have given birth. I'm not delusional enough to think it's all sunshine and rainbows so I'm pretty well aware of how strong these ladies have been throughout their pregnancies and deliveries.
I'm not sure why, but I seem to get the most unsolicited advice about birth from the women who have had one child. They also seem to be the ones that put the most "in-the-box" parameters on what labor and delivery are like and what I must expect. This is odd. You had a c-section at the last minute so I should automatically ask for an epidural. How does this make any sense? Your labor was 75 hours long so I won't want to try a natural birth. What? I understand that there are about a million different situations that can arise throughout the entire process but why in the world would you know what I should want/won't want/can't do during my labor and delivery? It's all said under the heading "I just want to give you all the scenarios - Information is power" type crap, when really it feels like a sermon about how naive I am. Listen, if I tell you that I have a birth plan that includes chanting and incense while a midget massages my temples, who the hell are you to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about? I think it's a given that I don't actually, physically know what will happen or how I will feel at the time but I'll be damned if I let your self righteous ass belittle my PROPOSED plan for labor and delivery. F OFF. I get bitter with these people.
I love moms with 2 or more children. Why? Because they know, for a fact - by their own experience - that every single delivery is different. Knowing this forces them to be much more reasonable with their advice offerings. They know they would sound like pretentious ninnies if they spoke in absolutes like the crazies above. This is the sorta person I can have a serious conversation with, without feeling like I'm being told (in not so many words) that I'm an idiot. My awesome mother is one of these women. Thank you mom.
Oh. My favorite. The Jadded Old Bitties. The funny thing about these women - I'm 120% sure they were the crazy first time moms that thought they knew everything and made sure everyone else was aware of it. Well, now here we have a crazy who knows all there is to know about childbirth.....in 1965. I find it so helpful when a mother who was under general anesthesia when her first 3 children were born, tells me that "labor and delivery aren't hard." Oh really Einstein? Being unconscious will do that. I know "that's just how it was" back then but COME ON. You are in 2008 - you KNOW it's not anymore whether you have recently experienced it or not. You possess no relevance. Just stop talking. My grandmother has somehow managed to understand that times change and that births today are not the same as they were 40 years ago. She offers cool stories about how different things were with each of her own deliveries and how far we've come to get where we are today (even though she hasn't given birth for 30 + years). I know it's possible to step outside your sanctimonious bubble and so I have no time for old ladies who choose not to. You are not applicable to modern times. Go knit something.
P.S. I'm not angry. I'm not fired up. This took me all of 15 minutes to write. Mostly I find it funny.
11 Weeks: Playing Catch Up
So I've been an awful blogger for the past 3 weeks and I'm almost to the point of not remembering what I'd like to write about. ALMOST. I'll give a quick recap of week 10 for you....
The same as week, 7, 8, 9 ....
Not too much changed as far as my nausea and such. I'm definitely getting bigger but I haven't gained any weight. This is such a strange phenomenon to me. I'm all, "Oh wow, I'm down 10 pounds." But really, it's not a WOO HOO! type "wow." At the same time, I'm buying maternity pants and bella bands to keep my expanding waistline in check. So weird.
I've got a ton on my plate and there is no shortage of tears in my life. Apparently I will cry - literally - over anything. I've always been a crier so this pregnancy has basically just thrown me over the edge into a full fledged weepy mess. Then, when I realize I'm crying over something ridiculous, I start laughing. That is quite a sight.
"I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you." ~ Gallagher
The same as week, 7, 8, 9 ....
Not too much changed as far as my nausea and such. I'm definitely getting bigger but I haven't gained any weight. This is such a strange phenomenon to me. I'm all, "Oh wow, I'm down 10 pounds." But really, it's not a WOO HOO! type "wow." At the same time, I'm buying maternity pants and bella bands to keep my expanding waistline in check. So weird.
I've got a ton on my plate and there is no shortage of tears in my life. Apparently I will cry - literally - over anything. I've always been a crier so this pregnancy has basically just thrown me over the edge into a full fledged weepy mess. Then, when I realize I'm crying over something ridiculous, I start laughing. That is quite a sight.
"I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you." ~ Gallagher
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